The Wentworth Woodhouse Wonder, 24th October 2004

From Wentworth Woodhouse the walkers commenced
Across land and countryside free and unfenced
But the walker the keenest of them all
Little knew that from her pedestal she would fall
Carol Baldwin of Northern College fame
To be first home was her game
With little hairy legs moving at the speed of light
Which was quite amazing for one so slight
Mile after mile she ate up the route
With all following the pied piper with her flute
"Get a move on you indolent shower"
She snarled behind her, face all a glower
Her confident striding ended up with a curse
When suddenly she tripped over her overfull purse
Her confident face suddenly turned quite pale
"I've sprained my ankle" she cried with a wail
Batman's assistant, Chris ,the boy wonder
Said with a grin, "my god what a blunder.
Not looking where you're going has knocked you for six
And left you in a terrible fix"
The St. John's Ambulance Brigade were called to assist
"How did it happen?" they asked "Was she p?"
"Stone cold sober" Chris replied "just two left feet"
"Oh stop wittering and help me" Carol did bleat
Upon the stretcher her prostrate body was placed
The poor lass groaning with an ashen face
Boot off, ankle treated , it did not take long
Even though the bare foot let off a terrible pong
The intrepid Chris with clothes peg on nose
Quickly to the occasion rose
For at one end of the stretcher he took control
Knowing what part of the rescue was his role
His end of the stretcher he lifted from the ground
And the cursing Carol made a terrible sound
As she hit the earth with a terrible thump
"Oh Chris at times you're a terrible chump
What's just happened to me you might think fun
Not lifting the stretcher at both ends, but just one"
"Oh stop you're moaning" responded our Chris
And make sure, in future, you give walking a miss
The club members are upset, for here's the rub
We're having to change our name to Sheffield Hobbling Club".

Chris C

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